I Am All Ears
Writing Prompt: Are you a listener or talker?
Doesn’t everyone fancy him, her, or their self as a listener? Being a listener has an air of nobility for it shows that you are caring and compassionate. “You are a good listener” is high praise and a compliment few people have difficulty accepting.
Being a good listener is being thoughtful — not only for the courtesy of allowing another to speak but, presumably, for responding thoughtfully to what you have heard. You listened, considered what was said, and only then offered your own opinion on the subject. Again, who doesn’t want to be told that he, she, or they are thoughtful.
Myself, I find that whether I am a listener or a talker depends very much on the circumstances and situation in which I find myself. How familiar I am with the parties involved and whether I am meant to be the talker, or, I should say, the Speaker (with a capital S) are a big factor. As one who studied (and practices) communications in a more professional way, I have often been called upon to talk about or speak on a subject, and generally I can do that with some ease. Addressing a crowd or responding to a reporter’s inquiries are situations in which I am a talker and, for the most part, do so decently well at it.
Far harder for me is the one-on-one discussion wherein I might be called upon to speak without a designated topic, planned talking points, or where I must engage the other individual sufficiently so as to draw them into talking to me — having a discussion. While I always loved journalism and feel I excel at writing articles, that last part has always proven harder for me, engaging someone in conversation. I know all the rules about open-ended questions and preparation being key, but knowing and doing are two different things. And when this involves more personal interactions, such as a party, it is even more difficult for me.
My other challenge is the pressure to respond thoughtfully to the the person once they have begun speaking. Sometimes I draw a blank when I shouldn’t, and there’s an awkward pause in the conversation while my brain catches up and formulates a response (not always a great one either). Other times I struggle to balance paying attention and preparing my answers, so that I’m not as good a listener as I should be for trying to formulate what I’ll say next to avoid said awkward pause.
Also, I have developed a bad habit of interrupting (probably from too many years spent in meetings with male colleagues dominating conversations — where it was interrupt or be left behind). When I start to interrupt — about halfway into the first sentence of my interruption — my brain catches up with my mouth, realizing I should’ve waited to speak. Then, there’s an apology and that awkwardness of “do I yield or continue with my interruption?” This makes me, I feel, a failure as both a listener and a talker.
What was the question again?
This was written in response to the April Writing Challenge hosted by Keeley Schroder. If you enjoyed this post, please consider giving me a clap…or five?
Other participants in Keeley’s writing challenges include:
Adrienne Beaumont, Autistic Widower (“AJ”), Brett Jenae Tomlin, The Sturg, Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles, Trisha Faye, Karen Schwartz, NancyO, Katie Michaelson, Bernie Pullen, Michelle Jimerson Morris, Amy Frances, Julia A. Keirns, Ravyne Hawke, Pamela Oglesby, Harry Hogg, Tina, Pat Romito LaPointe, Ruby Noir, K. Joseph, Brandon Ellrich, Misty Rae, Karen Hoffman, Deb Palmer, Susie Winfield, Vincent Pisano, Ray Day, Marlene Samuels, Randy Pulley, Michael Rhodes, Lu Skerdoo, Bruce, Lauren Alida, Pluto Wolnosci, Paula Shablo, Ellen Baker, Kelley Murphy, Jennifer Marla Pike, Carmen Ballesteros, Marlana, MSW, Denise Kendig, Patricia Timmermans, Amanda Weir-Gertzog, & Leigh-Anne Dennison.
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